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Like the other day, I had it with this kid who came into the salon." Later, I was in the car with my friend and asked, "What causes chemistry?

" He thought about it and said, "My friends and I share a sense of humor. I'd say those are the commonalities." Over dinner, another friend and I had a long discussion about it.

Waiting for me were five lengthy text messages from a guy I had been seeing for two months."Oh my God, he’s so desperate,” my friend said when she saw my screen.“This is totally normal for us,” I explained. ” I scrolled up to show her my seven unanswered text messages before, his three blocks of text before that and so on.

My friend, who lived strictly by the rule that you should not double text for fear of looking too “thirsty,” as the kids call it, was aghast. My now-boyfriend has been teased for “texting like a girl,” but it was immediately one of my favorite things about him.

A couple months ago I was taking an Uber to the airport when my driver asked me what I did for a living.

It made me curious as to what caused our close and easy bonds.

I began asking people in my network about chemistry. I said, "I want to study chemistry, which is the natural connection between two people. " Her response, "Oh sure, you just have it with some people.

My quick and easy go-to response is, “I am in graduate school.” When I eventually told him what for, he enthusiastically responded, “Wow! ” Typically upon hearing this news, people respond in a variety of ways including their terrible experience in therapy, how they feel like they are their own friends’ and families’ therapist too, their crazy friend who want to do that? Instead of going on a whole spiel about his opinion on therapy, he simply asked me, “What do you think makes relationships most successful?

” I sat back in my seat and took a second to think about it, granted it was about in the morning and my brain was only at about 30% capacity, but his question really made me think.